onetrackminds | (no subject)

It was intended as one.

[That earns a smile from Hawke; he can't help it - that sounded just like his Anders.]

You should do that more often. It's really quite nice.

[Pushing it too far? Hawke? Maaaaaaybe.]

[it's so easy to relax around this Hawke - it surprises him every time he thinks about it.]

One thing I do know is that you've never needed help building up your ego.

Nonsense. My ego needs boosting every once in a while just like anyone else's.

[Lies, Hawke, no it doesn't!]

I'll keep that in mind, then.

[not that he really buys it.]

That's very good of you. I appreciate it.

[Shameless flirting is now a go; even as he does so he wonders if he should resist but resisting Anders has never been something Hawke was very good at.]

[why did no one tell Anders that they're meant to be doing nothing but flirt?]

The two of you seem to take everything very lightly.

[Clearly the Hawke Anders remembers is stupid and a fake. 8|]

It's either that or be depressed all the time. And as Fenris does enough brooding for the lot of us, it'd be wasteful to join him.

But doesn't it make you angry? Being here, I mean.

[he's not sure if he should be bringing it up, but had it been the Hawke he knows, he would have. And it's clear he needs to get it off his chest.]

It does, if I let myself think about it too much. But what good does that do anyone?

I can't just let go of it. [looks away.] There was so much I needed to do in Kirkwall.

[he had his clinic, for one. And there were still templars living and breathing for another.]

[paaaaaause]

I don't suppose it would do you much good to tell you that you did accomplish most of what you wanted?

[Chantry in pieces, the Circle eradicated, the Templars crippled and leaderless...]

[that makes him stop.]

What happened in those three years?

To summarize, the Knight-Commander finally learned that playing with fire will get you burned.

[he likes the thought of that. Very much so.]

What happened with the templars?

...A great number of them also learned Meredith's lesson.

[He pauses thoughtfully, wondering how much he should reveal, or if he should just reveal it all; does it really matter, here, so far removed from Kirkwall and everything else they've ever known?]

I honestly didn't stick around for long enough to find out what the survivors did.

[He's just trying to imagine it. The idea makes him happy (Justice as well), but it's difficult to picture it nonetheless. The Hawke he knows sided with the templars.]

What caused it in the end?

A lot of little things. With the viscount dead there was really no one to check Meredith's power. Resentment built up over the years and finally burst.

It seems unlikely it will be the same for-- For the Hawke I know. He doesn't share your views of her.

[That is a chilling thought indeed. What would this Hawke, who sided with the Templars over the mages, over his own sister, have done to Anders once the Chantry had been utterly decimated? Hawke had no doubt Anders would have found a way to plant the explosives there even without his help - probably would have had to, from what Anders had told him of their relationship. Anders had invited his own death once his actions had been revealed; Hawke had refused to oblige him. Would this other Hawke...?]

[No. He wasn't going to think about it. He wasn't even going to speculate. He refused to imagine a reality, any reality, where he would willingly murder the man beside him.]

Then he is blind as well as a fool.

Edited 2012-10-25 05:54 (UTC)

I worked hard to convince him. That is why I need to be there.

[He's not aware of the consequences, or even what his own actions will be; not yet. And maybe it's cold to outright state he'd rather return to this other Hawke right now, instead of staying with the one that wishes to be his friend, but that is still a difficult concept to grasp.

And Anders has always had a one track mind; he dedicated his life to his cause. He will never be able to give it up.]

If you say I can achieve all that, then I will have to find a way, even if I do end up working alone.

But you did achieve it.

[...Ugh, this...time gap, or break in memories, or whatever, is confusing.]

To be honest, I don't think things will go much differently for him, even if his sympathies lie with the Templars. My efforts to guide the flow of events that sprang up from that confrontation amounted to basically nothing, in the end.

The templars would have put up a fight. And if he sides with them--

[he doesn't want to imagine fighting Hawke; he wants to imagine the templars winning even less.]

There's nothing I can do now, and that's what frustrating me. I dedicated my life to this.

The mages would not make it easy for them. Did not.

[He sits up from his slouch, raising a hand to place on Anders' shoulder after a brief moment of hesitation.]

You always work far too hard. Instead of using this as another opportunity to fret, I wish you would use it as a chance to tend to yourself, for a change.

[the touch surprises him. Not in a bad way, necessarily, but it only emphasises the strangeness of the situation.]

How can I not fret, when we've been told our world was destroyed?

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